Blind man's journey

[CuckQueen]

I went to visit my mother in the hospital today, because I'm not a fucking Cumia. I'm legally blind and walk with a white cane and glasses. It took me four hours to go five miles home. I eventually gave up and went to a bar to call a cab. After an hour the cab company called back and told the bartender no cabs were coming. He told me he'd drive me home after closing. I watched him rag down the bar and count silverware. He said his name was Tugboat and to call him Tug. We got into his car and he had a breathalyzer ignition,"At least you know I'm sober." Apparently his third cousin played Shane and his grandfather was the Vice President of US Steel in New Jersey in the 1950s. Thanks, Tug.