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https://www.somalinet.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=137651
I dont know why I would like to expose myself like this, but I have to let out something that has been bothering me for a long while.
First of all, a little synopsis of myself...I'm 24, I'm a university grad., very good looking (and no, I'm not tooting my horn, I know I'm one of the very rare handsome Somali men out there, lol) and very witty and articulate. Basically, I'm a catch if there's ever one out there.
Inspite of all of these great aforementioned qualities, I've yet to date a Somali girl. No, I do not blame my Somali sisters, quite the contrary...the fault wholly lies with me. For some reason, the thought of having to 'explain myself' to her parents about our relationship and its circumstances, turns me off greatly from Somali chicks. This is due to the fact that Islam shuns casual dating.
BUT...then again, I've dated a very nice, pretty Pakistani girl, from a Muslim family, so can I really legitimately use Islam as an excuse for me not approaching Somali girls? No.
So far, besides the Pakistani girl, I've also dated an Ethiopian chick, and a Quebecois/Haitian girl. I've also had casual friendships with several other girls from all backgrounds, except...of course, Somali.
Now that I'm much older, I feel like settling down with a Somali girl, but would you know it, I have alot of insecurities...I really feel like I might have to answer to her parents more than I'd like to (with regards to things like marriage and so on, things that I'd want to pursue on my OWN TERMS and when I'M GOOD AND READY) and of course...gossip.
I did not have the fortune/misfortune of living in an area with a sizeable Somali community, so I really dont meet alot of Somalis on a daily basis, and the reason being that when I was quite young, my mother decided to move us to a place with almost no Somalis, mainly because she was tired of all the gossip the men and women engage in. This was not because my mother has anything to hide, no... she is a very classy, dignified and intelligent lady...my father is a very religous, educated and well respected man. So there are no potential 'scandals' or 'skeletons in our closets' to fear getting out in the open, its just that my parents are very private people.
I think that this impeded me, because I yearn for Somali contact these days, and I live in Canada, where we Somalis are quite numerous, but I also developed the 'waryness' of Somali gossipping the same way my mother has. Also, although my 'af soomaali' is about average, I've lost alot of the more advanced vocabulary. My Af Soomaali is just a little bit above rudimentary/basic, enough to carry out a conversation, but not to use in a 'romantic' setting, if you can catch the drift...I'd like to speak to a Somali girl in proper, classy Somali. I WISH!
My parents also put me on a difficult situation because all throughout my teens, they would discourage almost all sorts of interactions with the female sex, because of our Islamic upbringing...but being quite popular with girls, I always had at least a girl or two calling the house and having the embarrassing scenario of my mother cursing them out as 'sharmuuto' on the other line.
With age, came the independence, of course...but still, I am too proud to continue living in the state I currently am. Basically, its 'dont ask, dont tell' when it comes to my girlfriends and my parents. I dont want such a relationship for a Somali girl, never.
So this is my dilemma.
When I see the most beautiful Somali girls with all of these non Somalis, I sometimes wonder if it's because of situations like mine, falling on my fellow Somali brothers, and if it is, can we really put the blame on our girls looking for affection elsewhere?
I'd like your comments, please I need some advice...and I've already spoken to my parents about being interested in a Somali girl to pursue a relationship with. I do not believe in arranging marriages or anything like that, but I intend to get married in the next couple of years inshaAllah.
Thanks
I'm not tooting my own horn
Boq tooting his horn:
I dont know why I would like to expose myself like this, but I have to let out something that has been bothering me for a long while.
First of all, a little synopsis of myself...I'm 24, I'm a university grad., very good looking (and no, I'm not tooting my horn, I know I'm one of the very rare handsome Somali men out there, lol) and very witty and articulate. Basically, I'm a catch if there's ever one out there.
Inspite of all of these great aforementioned qualities, I've yet to date a Somali girl. No, I do not blame my Somali sisters, quite the contrary...the fault wholly lies with me. For some reason, the thought of having to 'explain myself' to her parents about our relationship and its circumstances, turns me off greatly from Somali chicks. This is due to the fact that Islam shuns casual dating.
BUT...then again, I've dated a very nice, pretty Pakistani girl, from a Muslim family, so can I really legitimately use Islam as an excuse for me not approaching Somali girls? No.
So far, besides the Pakistani girl, I've also dated an Ethiopian chick, and a Quebecois/Haitian girl. I've also had casual friendships with several other girls from all backgrounds, except...of course, Somali.
Now that I'm much older, I feel like settling down with a Somali girl, but would you know it, I have alot of insecurities...I really feel like I might have to answer to her parents more than I'd like to (with regards to things like marriage and so on, things that I'd want to pursue on my OWN TERMS and when I'M GOOD AND READY) and of course...gossip.
I did not have the fortune/misfortune of living in an area with a sizeable Somali community, so I really dont meet alot of Somalis on a daily basis, and the reason being that when I was quite young, my mother decided to move us to a place with almost no Somalis, mainly because she was tired of all the gossip the men and women engage in. This was not because my mother has anything to hide, no... she is a very classy, dignified and intelligent lady...my father is a very religous, educated and well respected man. So there are no potential 'scandals' or 'skeletons in our closets' to fear getting out in the open, its just that my parents are very private people.
I think that this impeded me, because I yearn for Somali contact these days, and I live in Canada, where we Somalis are quite numerous, but I also developed the 'waryness' of Somali gossipping the same way my mother has. Also, although my 'af soomaali' is about average, I've lost alot of the more advanced vocabulary. My Af Soomaali is just a little bit above rudimentary/basic, enough to carry out a conversation, but not to use in a 'romantic' setting, if you can catch the drift...I'd like to speak to a Somali girl in proper, classy Somali. I WISH!
My parents also put me on a difficult situation because all throughout my teens, they would discourage almost all sorts of interactions with the female sex, because of our Islamic upbringing...but being quite popular with girls, I always had at least a girl or two calling the house and having the embarrassing scenario of my mother cursing them out as 'sharmuuto' on the other line.
With age, came the independence, of course...but still, I am too proud to continue living in the state I currently am. Basically, its 'dont ask, dont tell' when it comes to my girlfriends and my parents. I dont want such a relationship for a Somali girl, never.
So this is my dilemma.
When I see the most beautiful Somali girls with all of these non Somalis, I sometimes wonder if it's because of situations like mine, falling on my fellow Somali brothers, and if it is, can we really put the blame on our girls looking for affection elsewhere?
I'd like your comments, please I need some advice...and I've already spoken to my parents about being interested in a Somali girl to pursue a relationship with. I do not believe in arranging marriages or anything like that, but I intend to get married in the next couple of years inshaAllah.
Thanks
I'm not tooting my own horn
Boq tooting his horn:
"
