Does anyone else have hemorrhoids?

[MunchausenByProxy]

Im pretty sure thats what I have after a quick google search. My asshole fucking reeks like a corpse. I mean when I wash it in the shower, it literally smells like a raw fish. What do I do

 

[TokenX]

Remove it with a pair of pliers like you're trying to dig out a bullet.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Dude, please go to a doctor. Anything with your ass needs to be looked at by a professional.

Because the only advice we'll give you is to quit taking dirty dicks up your rotten ass.

 

[guest]

Roids are usually a bit of fresh blood and maybe some pain. What you're experiencing is cancer of the asshole. You ain't makin' it out of the 'nam, Barnes. RIP.

 

[analeggsalad]

 

[Zombie247]

Forget the cream. Suppositories are the best cure for the roids.

But also, go see a doctor.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

Roids are usually a bit of fresh blood and maybe some pain. What you're experiencing is cancer of the asshole. You ain't makin' it out of the 'nam, Barnes. RIP.

Everybody gotta die sometime Red

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

Do you eat a lot of fibre?

 

[Mikekeke]

The couple times I got roids was after I got stomach bugs (A TON of grunting and straining... if you catch my drift.) I just stopped eating for a day or two so I would stop shitting and my asshole could repair itself. Otherwise it would still look like in Saving Private Ryan when they use the bangalore torpedoes to make a hole to get through the barbed wire, you see.

 

[Mr-Wrinkle-Paws]

When bad flu shits hit or just ate something bad, baby wipes are the way to go, they won't wipe you raw as fast as shit paper

 

[DiarrheaDick]

That's not a hemorrhoid, guy. How often do you black out or pass out in public parks or bathrooms?

 

[Chapel]

When the doc examines them make sure he doesn’t have both hands on your shoulders

 

[guest]

I have the most faggy asshole. I bleed EVERY time I wipe. I don't seem to have hemorrhoids, I just have what seems to be paper thin asshole skin.

 

[Oogie Farts 1488]

zinc oxide around the rim, they sell it at the store in a tube. Dr. Faggots Diaper Cream. Works like a charm and is good on toast too

 

[Patty's Stubby Fingers]

It's over Johnny, time to do the honorable thing and suicide

 

[Guyincognito]

Im pretty sure thats what I have after a quick google search. My asshole fucking reeks like a corpse. I mean when I wash it in the shower, it literally smells like a raw fish. What do I do

Notadoctor:

My man. That could be something like a pilonidal cyst that got infected. Or you have some external or internal roids that got infected. You shouldn’t have raw fish smells coming from you at any time. That being said, get a bidet with a warm water option. A warm water massage on your asshole after dooking with roids is singular pleasure in life. Also go see a doctor. You likely have an infection or can’t wipe properly

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

That made me want to fucking puke. Go to a doctor, dude. You're not supposed to have corpse smells coming from you. Or perhaps, do like I do; don't actually see a doctor in person and instead ask Dr. Steve about your ailment. He's never steered me wrong! I am dead though.

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

UGH! Listen to the resident gay. I have the most to lose from roids, that’s my sex life…

1- Get a bidet and use it. They just attach now, even a pants-shitting retard like Pat could install it

2- Supplement with whole psyillium husks. Powder is ok but whole husks make the shits easy and give your rotten old Pathole a break. I do 3 heaping tablespoons at 6pm [EDIT] and at exactly 4am I wake up and take HOF shits. Prime patposting time. Then I go run, come back, and do it again. Lovely.

3- If things aren’t working properly or the Mexican soccer team came to town and scored some goals, so to speak, hydrocortisone cream works wonders. Cured my AIDS up in like a week.

 

[Guyincognito]

UGH! Listen to the resident gay. I have the most to lose from roids, that’s my sex life…

1- Get a bidet and use it. They just attach now, even a pants-shitting retard like Pat could install it

2- Supplement with whole psyillium husks. Powder is ok but whole husks make the shits easy and give your rotten old Pathole a break. I do 3 heaping tablespoons at 6pm [EDIT] and at exactly 4am I wake up and take HOF shits. Prime patposting time. Then I go run, come back, and do it again. Lovely.

3- If things aren’t working properly or the Mexican soccer team came to town and scored some goals, so to speak, hydrocortisone cream works wonders. Cured my AIDS up in like a week.

Re: 2
Try methycellulose (ie citrucel). It does the same thing as metamucil/psyillium but bacteria can’t ferment it so it won’t cause extra gas. @CarolMaxheinie this tip might help your bhole too!

 

[Udders]

Fuck that psyllium shit. Eat plenty of vegetables and improve your gut health with properly fermented foods like sauerkraut or pickles (Bubbies makes the best - stuff you buy in the refrigerated section, not room temperature off the shelf), kimchi, and start incorporating bone broth and collagen protein into your diet. Maybe experiment with drinking some kombucha too.