I have the rare opportunity to make my wife breakfast in bed tomorrow.

[Cptbaldopie]

I'm planning an omlette with pancakes, hand squeezed oj and coffee. Is there a non bacon or sausage product I can add?

 

[Brooke Shields]

yeah good luck doing all of that while lying in bed

 

[Heyfellas]

Call her a bitch

 

[Will Tate]

Corn.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

She’d probably prefer scrambled eggs on some shitty toast. Add some coffee in a Star Wars mug and she’ll fuck you after a brewers game in your shitty girl car!

 

[satanssockpuppet]

Perhaps after that you could parade around in front of her while wearing various whimsical outfits, all while spinning a delightful pretty pink parasol. Just kidding, good luck with that.

 

[guest]

What are you making for her boyfriend?

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

My dad always did that for my mom on Mothers Day. They never really got along, but I felt like it was always his yearly way of saying, sorry I got you pregnant at 20 and ruining your life, thanks for sucking it up.
It was romantic.

 

[Punished Dan Mullen]

Show feet n ass

 

[Mr. Faggotry]

Day 1 of an old school no sugars, no carbs, only healthy fats diet. 6 small healthy meals/snacks a day and a lean green (6oz meat and salad) at night. Not drinking much alcohol at all, so to quit altogether is no big deal. Back to sashimi, and NO FOOD AT ALL AFTER 8pm.

I’ve been feeling like ass since putting on 40lbs over the last 2 years...Lower back fucked up, can’t bend straight over to tie my sneakers without breathing hard, feels like i’m laying face first on a basketball if I try to get a tan on my fat ass...

A high weight of 250 today folks. It will only go down from here.

ANYONE CAN DO IT. Takes will power and the desire to feel healthy overriding the desire to eat food that tastes GREAT. I quit smoking and (backmin the day) blow...cold turkey. Just stopped at will.

If you follow this plan and get your body into ‘fat burning mode’ (takes about 2 weeks of hardcore diet adjustment) WITH NO CHEATING...and the weight will fall off of you like a terminal AIDS patient. (No offense AIDS patients...)

Goal - 210lbs

PS - I cover my fatness up well. Being 6’1 helps big time.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Do people really like that? It sounds messy and awkward. Unless you're a retiree with a Craftmatic Adjustable Bed or something.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Leftover filet mignon and lobster tail that your baby bought for you might round out the meal.

 

[AntSucks]

I don't know why breakfast in bed is considered a luxury. It's awkward to eat most types of food. Crumbs go everywhere. The last time I had breakfast in bed I spilled coffee all over white Egyptian cotton sheets and it looked like I shit the bed.

 

[guest]

Pancakes? Is she a lumberjack?

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

Is there a non bacon or sausage product I can add?

yo wife a muslim? niccce!

 

[Punished Dan Mullen]

yo wife a muslim? niccce!

Op a pedo confirmed


Either that or he's got hog of a wife thus would be cannibalism

Lots of problems with op

 

[Mc.Faggot]

bagel with cream cheese

 

[Mr. Faggotry]

Hopefully you walked in like Saint Mel, bent over and told her to eat your ass.

 

[Patrick S Tomlinson]

I feed my wife my giant cock every morning, child. I know you cannot fathom what it's like to be an Alpha male.

 

[UnPRePared]