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50. Wanda Sykes - IMPEACH FOHTEE FYFE
49. Aziz Ansari - i heard this wog shits in the street
48. Margaret Cho - see above
47. Elayne Boosler
46. Reggie Watts
45. Freddie Prinze - nice boomer choice stupid
44. Russell Peters - DERKA DERKA
43. Amy Schumer - jim norton is a rapist
42. Phyllis Diller
41. Bernie Mac - d.l. hughley was a “hard no”
40. Garry Shandling
39. Moms Mabley
38. Roseanne Barr
37. Sam Kinison - CAR CRASH COMEDY
36. Daniel Kitson - i think they need to specify which daniel kitson
35. Tig Notaro - HAHAHAHAno
34. Patton Oswalt - might've had louis c.k.’s #4 spot if not for his rather spotty human rights record
33. Janeane Garolfalo - nice misspelling stupid
32. Patrice O'Neal - THE GUY FROM THE DOCUMENTARY
31. Sarah Silverman
30. Woody Allen (pretty sure the next 10-15 names were copied and pasted from comedy central’s "100 greatest standups" list from 2004)
29. Dick Gregory
28. Robert Klein
27. Redd Foxx
26. Rodney Dangerfield
25. Eddie Murphy
24. Eddie Izzard
23. Don Rickles
22. Jonathan Winters
21. Bob Newhart - right up there with jay mohr's phoners
20. Mitch Hedberg - didn’t appreciate him until i heard birbiglia's heartfelt tribute
19. Albert Brooks
18. Kevin Hart - HOLD ON HOLD ON better than eddie murphy??? get patrice on the phone (methinks the CELLAR TABLE had a lotta fawkin input on this list to be honest witcha)
17. Bill Burr - billeeeeee!!!! see above
16. Billy Connolly
15. Steven Wright
14. Andy Kaufman
13. Bill Hicks
12. Robin Williams - proved that white entertainers could coon without the crutch of blackface
11. Steve Martin - see above
10. Mort Sahl - i’m glad they put a gentile on the list
9. Dave Chappelle
8. Bill Cosby - still hilarious
7. Jerry Seinfeld - let’s see if we can fit the cast of “talking funny” in the next five spots
6. Joan Rivers
5. Chris Rock
4. Louis CK - oof i bet they regret this selection now
3. Lenny Bruce
2. George Carlin - the man who taught me how to curse, and who to hate
1. Richard Pryor - been listening since i was minus 8 years old so his act is starting to wear on me a lil bit..
Okay now that we've seen the whole list it's time for my real TIRADE/RANT
to start (stop reading here if you're an easily offended snowflake):
First of all, where in the absolute F**K is Dice? Sorry if he uhhhfffeeeended the gen z crowd who drew up this shitshow of a list but I was at one of his shows in Chelsea back in the day and he was funnier than any of the soyboys now who call themselves comedians. Perhaps a libtard magazine like Rolling Stone should STICK TO MUSIC choices. Also, who the hell is Moms Mabley and why is she on a "funniest comedians" list? Could it be because she's an african-american rugmuncher? (and no that's not racist) And don't forget Roseanne Barr who they had at #38 would be CANCELLED the following year over a "racist" tweet she made. So so so calling Valerie Jarrett a sheboon from Planet of the Apes is somehow racist? Whatever happened to FREEDOM OF A SPEECH? And the fact of the matter is she's a [n-word deleted] after all! And don't get me started on how they left out Jay Leno and David Letterman (whose politics I don't particularly like) no doubt because they're WHITE MALES. What's the matter too real? I don't care what "Rolling Stone" thinks anyhow Leno & Letterman are LEGENDS of comedy no matter which side of the political fence the boomer you're asking is. And last but not least, how the can they leave out Bob freaking Hope?? You mean the man who's been a wartime legend on stage since America was turning chink cities into gook ashes? This one really pissed me off more than anything as a veteran.
With all that having been said, this list gets from me two fat THUMBS DOWN for political correctness and overall stupidity. Anyone who isn't a millennial piece of shit will agree with me.
49. Aziz Ansari - i heard this wog shits in the street
48. Margaret Cho - see above
47. Elayne Boosler
46. Reggie Watts
45. Freddie Prinze - nice boomer choice stupid
44. Russell Peters - DERKA DERKA
43. Amy Schumer - jim norton is a rapist
42. Phyllis Diller
41. Bernie Mac - d.l. hughley was a “hard no”
40. Garry Shandling
39. Moms Mabley
38. Roseanne Barr
37. Sam Kinison - CAR CRASH COMEDY
36. Daniel Kitson - i think they need to specify which daniel kitson
35. Tig Notaro - HAHAHAHAno
34. Patton Oswalt - might've had louis c.k.’s #4 spot if not for his rather spotty human rights record
33. Janeane Garolfalo - nice misspelling stupid
32. Patrice O'Neal - THE GUY FROM THE DOCUMENTARY
31. Sarah Silverman
30. Woody Allen (pretty sure the next 10-15 names were copied and pasted from comedy central’s "100 greatest standups" list from 2004)
29. Dick Gregory
28. Robert Klein
27. Redd Foxx
26. Rodney Dangerfield
25. Eddie Murphy
24. Eddie Izzard
23. Don Rickles
22. Jonathan Winters
21. Bob Newhart - right up there with jay mohr's phoners
20. Mitch Hedberg - didn’t appreciate him until i heard birbiglia's heartfelt tribute
19. Albert Brooks
18. Kevin Hart - HOLD ON HOLD ON better than eddie murphy??? get patrice on the phone (methinks the CELLAR TABLE had a lotta fawkin input on this list to be honest witcha)
17. Bill Burr - billeeeeee!!!! see above
16. Billy Connolly
15. Steven Wright
14. Andy Kaufman
13. Bill Hicks
12. Robin Williams - proved that white entertainers could coon without the crutch of blackface
11. Steve Martin - see above
10. Mort Sahl - i’m glad they put a gentile on the list
9. Dave Chappelle
8. Bill Cosby - still hilarious
7. Jerry Seinfeld - let’s see if we can fit the cast of “talking funny” in the next five spots
6. Joan Rivers
5. Chris Rock
4. Louis CK - oof i bet they regret this selection now
3. Lenny Bruce
2. George Carlin - the man who taught me how to curse, and who to hate
1. Richard Pryor - been listening since i was minus 8 years old so his act is starting to wear on me a lil bit..
Okay now that we've seen the whole list it's time for my real TIRADE/RANT
to start (stop reading here if you're an easily offended snowflake):First of all, where in the absolute F**K is Dice? Sorry if he uhhhfffeeeended the gen z crowd who drew up this shitshow of a list but I was at one of his shows in Chelsea back in the day and he was funnier than any of the soyboys now who call themselves comedians. Perhaps a libtard magazine like Rolling Stone should STICK TO MUSIC choices. Also, who the hell is Moms Mabley and why is she on a "funniest comedians" list? Could it be because she's an african-american rugmuncher? (and no that's not racist) And don't forget Roseanne Barr who they had at #38 would be CANCELLED the following year over a "racist" tweet she made. So so so calling Valerie Jarrett a sheboon from Planet of the Apes is somehow racist? Whatever happened to FREEDOM OF A SPEECH? And the fact of the matter is she's a [n-word deleted] after all! And don't get me started on how they left out Jay Leno and David Letterman (whose politics I don't particularly like) no doubt because they're WHITE MALES. What's the matter too real? I don't care what "Rolling Stone" thinks anyhow Leno & Letterman are LEGENDS of comedy no matter which side of the political fence the boomer you're asking is. And last but not least, how the can they leave out Bob freaking Hope?? You mean the man who's been a wartime legend on stage since America was turning chink cities into gook ashes? This one really pissed me off more than anything as a veteran.
With all that having been said, this list gets from me two fat THUMBS DOWN for political correctness and overall stupidity. Anyone who isn't a millennial piece of shit will agree with me.
