Telegrams apparently are still a thing

Uncle J’s Sink Emporium

Enjoy prison, Y’munkoke


IMG_6264.jpeg
 

Kinderman

Eight six six, Ron zero Rez
NO BACON EGG AND CHEESE ON A ROLL THIS MORNING stop
DAY 1 OF AN OLD SCHOOL NO-SUGARS, NO CARBS, ONLY HEALTHY FATS DIET stop
6 SMALL HEALTHY MEALS/SNACKS DAY AND A LEAN AND GREEN (6 OZ MEAT AND SALAD) AT NIGHT stop
NOT DRINKING MUCH ALCOHOL AT ALL, SO TO QUIT ALTOGETHER IS NO BIG DEAL stop
BACK TO SASHIMI, AND NO FOOD AT ALL AFTER 8PM stop
I’VE BEEN FEELING LIKE ASS SINCE PUTTING ON 40LBS OVER THE LAST 2 YEARS stop
LOWER BACK FUCKED UP, CAN’T BEND STRAIGHT OVER TO TIE MY SNEAKERS WITHOUT BREATHING HARD, FEELS LIKE I’M LYING FACE FIRST ON A BASKETBALL IF I TRY TO GET A TAN ON MY FAT ASS stop
A HIGH WEIGHT OF 250 TODAY FOLKS stop
IT WILL ONLY GO DOWN FROM HERE stop
ANYONE CAN DO IT stop
TAKES WILL POWER AND THE DESIRE TO FEEL HEALTHY OVERRIDING THE DESIRE TO EAT FOOD THAT TASTES GREAT stop
I QUIT SMOKING AND (BACKMIN THE DAY) BLOW, COLD TURKEY stop
JUST STOPPED AT WILL stop
IF YOU FOLLOW THIS PLAN AND GET YOUR BODY INTO “FAT BURNING MODE” (TAKES ABOUT 2 WEEKS OF HARDCORE DIET ADJUSTMENT) WITH NO CHEATING AND THE WEIGHT WILL FALL OFF OF YOU LIKE A TERMINAL AIDS PATIENT stop
(NO OFFENSE AIDS PATIENTS) stop
GOAL 210LBS stop
PS I COVER MY FATNESS UP WELL stop
BEING 6’1” HELPS BIG TIME stop
 

Uncle J’s Sink Emporium

Enjoy prison, Y’munkoke
NO BACON EGG AND CHEESE ON A ROLL THIS MORNING stop
DAY 1 OF AN OLD SCHOOL NO-SUGARS, NO CARBS, ONLY HEALTHY FATS DIET stop
6 SMALL HEALTHY MEALS/SNACKS DAY AND A LEAN AND GREEN (6 OZ MEAT AND SALAD) AT NIGHT stop
NOT DRINKING MUCH ALCOHOL AT ALL, SO TO QUIT ALTOGETHER IS NO BIG DEAL stop
BACK TO SASHIMI, AND NO FOOD AT ALL AFTER 8PM stop
I’VE BEEN FEELING LIKE ASS SINCE PUTTING ON 40LBS OVER THE LAST 2 YEARS stop
LOWER BACK FUCKED UP, CAN’T BEND STRAIGHT OVER TO TIE MY SNEAKERS WITHOUT BREATHING HARD, FEELS LIKE I’M LYING FACE FIRST ON A BASKETBALL IF I TRY TO GET A TAN ON MY FAT ASS stop
A HIGH WEIGHT OF 250 TODAY FOLKS stop
IT WILL ONLY GO DOWN FROM HERE stop
ANYONE CAN DO IT stop
TAKES WILL POWER AND THE DESIRE TO FEEL HEALTHY OVERRIDING THE DESIRE TO EAT FOOD THAT TASTES GREAT stop
I QUIT SMOKING AND (BACKMIN THE DAY) BLOW, COLD TURKEY stop
JUST STOPPED AT WILL stop
IF YOU FOLLOW THIS PLAN AND GET YOUR BODY INTO “FAT BURNING MODE” (TAKES ABOUT 2 WEEKS OF HARDCORE DIET ADJUSTMENT) WITH NO CHEATING AND THE WEIGHT WILL FALL OFF OF YOU LIKE A TERMINAL AIDS PATIENT stop
(NO OFFENSE AIDS PATIENTS) stop
GOAL 210LBS stop
PS I COVER MY FATNESS UP WELL stop
BEING 6’1” HELPS BIG TIME stop
That would be a costly telegram, sir
 
My dearest Joseph

I have received your letter and am saddened to hear that you are struggling having to deal with all the third world workers on the ship, especially the Indonesians. As you said, they are subhuman and I completely agree. With that said, I am happy to hear that you are able to be your true self onboard, no longer having to hide your homosexuality. I know you've mentioned being attracted to the first officer after seeing through his pants that he is well endowed. Have you acted on this yet? I think you should. He may be receptive.

Keep up the good work. I know it is hard. You said that all the passengers are complete losers. I understand, but you have to be brave and keep playing Santana for them. We need that $3,000 you will make over the next four months to help pay for your gender reassignment surgery. Just stick with it and you'll finally be able to be free as woman.
 

JebJoh

If I believed missy could plan things more than 15 minutes ahead I would accuse her of stealing cash, taking kickbacks from contractors and putting money in safe deposit boxes for the day nana croaks and makes his funeral a burden for his family.
 

Peckas

Helping those 8 to 80
Looks how slow and frustrating the system on the titanic was. Starts with personal messages but quick the mood changes. It's like a old person in the 90s on a keyboard slow.


Jesus that’s so slow compare this a couple words a minute to the modern internet I can download a 4k UHD remux of Lawrence of Arabia in under an hour!
 
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