• Reminder: Do not call, text, or mention harrassing someone in real life. Do not encourage it. Do not talk about killing or using violence against anyone, or engaging in any criminal behavior. If it is not an obvious joke even when taken out of context, don't post it. Please report violators.

    DMCA, complaints, and other inquiries:

    [email protected]

This always gives me a quick pick me up

Forum Clout
2,143
HisHopesAndDreams.png


Also holy shit how short is Danny?
 

not that Jack Horner

If you saw me IRL you very likely wouldn't look me
Forum Clout
12,798
jim asks intern to buy every beatles book he can find

in one of the most pathetic attempts to soften the blow of asking him to sign this giant poster quality picture

imagine how disgusted ozzy felt, i can imagine he actually thought for a second it would be a thoughtful gift
 

LingerLonger

Still spreading the O&A virus
Forum Clout
30,744
imagine how disgusted ozzy felt, i can imagine he actually thought for a second it would be a thoughtful gift
This is a repeated scenario for Jim.

Step one: Buy some extravagant highly personal gift or item concerning a celebrity. Like a poster. Homerun baseball. Books. Stuff from their own personal life that you scored on ebay or whatever.

Step two: Present it to a celebrity for an autograph in a highly inappropriate environment like a charity or walking through the streets. Or during an interview. Or when the person is relaxing backstage before a concert or interview. And almost demand that they sign it and take a personal picture with you. Make sure to drop a few mentions of your standup comedy or HBO shows in the most casual and nonchalant way possible.

Optional step two: Force your friends to ambush a celebrity when you are on the road doing standup comedy to get an autograph for you. Norton once sent a six foot tall poster to Florentine when Florentine was interviewing some rock band. And begged Florentine to hound the band to sign the poster. I think that Kenny actually flew to California with the poster and escorted it to Florentine's studio. He would also leave a huge collection of crap in the O&A studio if a celebrity came so that Roland or Erock could get them to autograph it for Jim. At one point there was an entire closet with like boxing gloves, baseballs, NFL jerseys, and t-shirts of various athletes in case XM had one of them in the building for another show. So an intern could ambush some random Nascar driver and make them autograph a Hot Wheels car for Norton.

Step three: When celebrity autographs the item and takes a photograph with you you tell everyone. Tell the radio show and social media. Then display the items in your apartment for NO ONE to ever see until the day you die alone and the building super calls a cleanup crew to haul you to the morgue and the spic janitors dump your collection in the trash. Live alone with your collection talking to yourself like Multiple Migs.

Optional step three: When celebrity refuses to sign your item you get on the radio and rant that that celebrity should die of AIDS. And his entire family should be raped and burned alive. Say that you will never watch another movie or root for their team again.

If you want some good O&A segments on this find like "Norton's photo obsession" or "The Derek Jeter rant" for starters.
 

Stent

cause you know it don't matter anyway
Forum Clout
31,342
:image_9248:: "I was being very fuckin' polite! Fucking scumbag won't even sign something for me but he'll sign one for a pretty girl! What the fuck is that?!"

:unsure:: "Hey, Jim. When's the Chip cartoon merch being sent out? We paid months ago and heard nothing."

:image_9248:: "WAIT YOUR FUCKING TURN, ASSHOLE!"
 
Last edited:
Top