Whats the funniest thing you ever saw in real life

[Turk February]

again Im not revealing it

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Your face.

 

[Turk February]

Your face.

that was online, sir, you are not playing the game fair

 

[1073waaf]

One time I was at the Comedy Cellar and this guy walked in with an unusual shirt. You can probably imagine how that went!

 

[The Shah of Iran]

About 15 years ago I was out at a club for halloween, only cunt not in fancy dress. I went outside for a smoke close to closing time and saw a guy 20 yards down the street, dressed up as a clown kinda like this but with a way bigger hula hoop belt (like stupidly large), steamin' like a pig on a winter morning. Must have been chucked outta somewhere else.

Tries to go for a pish but he's complete forgotten he's got this thing on and can't get near the wall. After about 4 or 5 tries he just pulls his dick out but it's only when he starts pishin that he realises it's just going in the trousers so he starts leaning back to create an arch and gurning like fuck to create enough pressure to clear the hula hoop. Inevitably overdoes it and falls backwards, the stream of piss hit this perfect garden sprinkler like apex as it started flowing the other way onto his face.

 

[Uncle J’s Sink Emporium]

In high school our school nurse (great big fat person) was walking through the cafeteria and she slipped in a pile of nacho cheese and flew up in the air horizontal to the ground the cartoons slipping on a banana peel. She smashed into the ground and they had to call an ambulance to take her away. I almost died from laughing, I couldn’t fucking breathe.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

In a fairly small village (single track road with small terraced houses on each side we roped 2 opposite front door handles across the street (about 70ft) then knocked on the doors & watched them play tug-of-war with each other while shouting & thinking someone was on the other side of the door.
Eventually a car came past & there was a loud snapping sound, we ran.

Same street, (we were probably 10yrs old), we found a completely rigid dead cat in the street, so we balanced the poor lil fella on some gay guys' front door handle (not a hate crime - I'm just painting the picture) & we banged really loud on the door like there was an emergency, we watched the dead cat fall at their feet from opposite as they jumped about 6ft in the air before we watched them trying to nurse the 5-day rigid dead cat back to health (spoiler: he didn't make it)... they seemed hilariously confused.

 

[eggfella]

saw a fat woman run out of a public restroom in a hurry with a toilet paper tail trailing behind her. i also get a big hearty kick out of seeing big fat ugly white woman + hood groid couples

 

[FranksWirecutters]

Driving through WY at 2am, came down a hill on I-80 and saw lights on the other side going back up. Came to a stop maybe 100 yards (wouldn't have seen it but somehow did) from a car on its side in the middle of the road. Chick hanging out the passenger window and dude throwing his beer into the ditch. Someone asked for help lighting flares and I did them in my truck and threw them out the window. Told the trooper I didn't see anything but the guy throwing his booze away and he let me leave.

Maybe not funny to everyone but it's also Vizio soundbar funny. I'm not helping some idiot who killed his gf and was more interested in "hiding" the evidence in the ditch.

 

[CorradoSoprano4]

When I was in elementary school we had this talent show and this one kid decided to breakdance. During his routine he did a handstand and lost his balance and fell straight on his back.

This was in a small gymnasium and we were all sitting on the ground and I was sitting in the front row. I could hear him gasping for air while he was in pain on the ground with the music still going. He did still continue his routine, but I don't think I laughed harder than that in my life.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

When I was in elementary school we had this talent show and this one kid decided to breakdance. During his routine he did a handstand and lost his balance and fell straight on his back.

This was in a small gymnasium and we were all sitting on the ground and I was sitting in the front row. I could hear him gasping for air while he was in pain on the ground with the music still going. He did still continue his routine, but I don't think I laughed harder than that in my life.

I shouldn've loffed, but I did!

 

[Turry Fawks]

Probably my seventh grade science teacher crying because he told us he almost died from a burst appendix and we responded by laughing hysterically. Read the room, dude.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

When I was like 20 I had a summer job with the road department. One day we were in the truck yard, washing a dump truck. I was just hanging out, smoking weed, while the other guy I worked with was doing the actual washing. I kept crimping the hose, and he was getting all pissed off, complaining about "the water pressure" and so on. So I crimped it again, and he unscrewed the nozzle, and held the hose up to his eye to look inside, just like in a cartoon. And I let the hose go, and it was the funniest thing I've ever witnessed. That dude was a great guy, fell for absolutely everything.

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

Late night post-drinks Denny's run, we had a retarded waiter. Trying to say "How you folks doing tonight?" came out "How you fucks doing tonight?" and I could feel the mirth bubbling up. I guess the strain of holding my laughter in was apparent on my face, because all my friends were shaking their heads as I excused myself and speedwalked out of the place. I nearly passed out laughing once I hit the door, took me probably ten minutes to regain my composure.
"Dude, what is wrong with you?"
"What's wrong with me?"
"Shut the fuck up, you're an asshole."
That retarded waiter got a pretty good tip when we left.

 

[Rick Roblinson]

Saw a fat bitch fall down

 

[Patty's Stubby Fingers]

Saw an asian kid with his dad walking down the street and the kid slams his head into a low hanging utility box, I had to keep a straight face until I walked past them then I died

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

I dont know about funniest but got damn hilarious. One of y’all reminded me of when in 7th grade, since it was brought to the administrations attention that 7th and 8th grade wasn’t doing pledge of allegiance since it was periods and not one teacher, they announced and tried to get the teachers to do it the first period every day. After a bit teachers and kids were forgetting alot or skipping it on purpose. Well, 7th period, the last class of the day, Economics with Mr Grimes was 7th/8th graders, total insanity every day. Everyone talking to eachother, doing other shit, stealing his sugar cubes etc etc total chaos. He’s younger and doesn’t know how to control us and is constantly losing it and sending people to detention. He started having people do wall sits at the back of the class til people at started getting them on purpose to screw around in the back.

So Grimy is yammering about economic who knows what, and someone raises their hand and says “hey Mr. Grimes, since my first period class didn’t do the pledge, can we do it now?”
“Sure”. So we all stand up and do it, derailing his shit. This happened a few times in a seemingly respectful manner. Then later in the class someone would interrupt and raise their hand and ask to do it again. “No and shut up”. So then this culminates with one of the times of excessive chaos, people chucking pencils in the ceiling, paper airplanes flying, people yelling shit. Grimy is losing it, getting all red and steaming, we can tell detentions are coming and right when he’s about to blow on Hickey, Hoden stands up and starts doing the pledge and the whole class does the same. Diffuses Grimey completely and destroys my ribs. It was a failsafe for awhile but not as funny subsequent times.

 

[PogromStallone]

I dont know about funniest but got damn hilarious. One of y’all reminded me of when in 7th grade, since it was brought to the administrations attention that 7th and 8th grade wasn’t doing pledge of allegiance since it was periods and not one teacher, they announced and tried to get the teachers to do it the first period every day. After a bit teachers and kids were forgetting alot or skipping it on purpose. Well, 7th period, the last class of the day, Economics with Mr Grimes was 7th/8th graders, total insanity every day. Everyone talking to eachother, doing other shit, stealing his sugar cubes etc etc total chaos. He’s younger and doesn’t know how to control us and is constantly losing it and sending people to detention. He started having people do wall sits at the back of the class til people at started getting them on purpose to screw around in the back.

So Grimy is yammering about economic who knows what, and someone raises their hand and says “hey Mr. Grimes, since my first period class didn’t do the pledge, can we do it now?”
“Sure”. So we all stand up and do it, derailing his shit. This happened a few times in a seemingly respectful manner. Then later in the class someone would interrupt and raise their hand and ask to do it again. “No and shut up”. So then this culminates with one of the times of excessive chaos, people chucking pencils in the ceiling, paper airplanes flying, people yelling shit. Grimy is losing it, getting all red and steaming, we can tell detentions are coming and right when he’s about to blow on Hickey, Hoden stands up and starts doing the pledge and the whole class does the same. Diffuses Grimey completely and destroys my ribs. It was a failsafe for awhile but not as funny subsequent times.

Did you grow up in Detroit?

 

[Toast]

Saw Rich Vos once. Don't get much better than that, folks.

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

I saw a little kid get shit on by a seagull that hit his face and ice cream, he stopped and started crying. The visual of this white streak down his face hand and ice cream was too much for me.