• Reminder: Do not call, text, or mention harrassing someone in real life. Do not encourage it. Do not talk about killing or using violence against anyone, or engaging in any criminal behavior. If it is not an obvious joke even when taken out of context, don't post it. Please report violators.

    DMCA, complaints, and other inquiries:

    [email protected]

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie…

The Talking Dead

My network, heart and book all failed. Hooly shit!
Forum Clout
31,284
Dassa bessoooooo

1674113430201.jpeg
 

Consensual Rapist

私は爆発的な下痢をしています! ^_^
Forum Clout
23,934
LukerFunk: hello
Jenny: Yo nigga
LukerFunk: what's up
Jenny: Shit, not much
LukerFunk: really now
Jenny: So, you an actor?
LukerFunk: well sort of.. actor fresh out of high school.. well not so fresh anymore.. I graduated last year
Jenny: Shit...So you never met Puffy?
LukerFunk: nope sorry
Jenny: Fuck...That's allright.
LukerFunk: I though I said I wanted to become an actor.. hhmm I'll have to look at my profile again
Jenny: I thought maybe you was in some Showtime movies or somethin.....Or maybe you in one of Master P
Jenny: s's phat flicks
LukerFunk: no.. sorry..tho I wish sometimes
Jenny: So, why have you messaged me tonight?
LukerFunk: I just picked a random SN I saw
Jenny: You don't got to be shy, honey. I know when a man want to get his cyber-fuck on.
LukerFunk: well I do like cyber... but really I just looking through the SNs and pic you at random
Jenny: Bitch, stop lying. It's better to just be open and honest. I can't suck your hard cock if I know you are deceiving me.
LukerFunk: okay I imed you to get my cyber-fuck on
Jenny: Okay, you're an actor right? Well, let's do some role-playing and get this shit on.
LukerFunk: what is it?
Jenny: Okay, you are Hulk Hogan and I am a fan who approaches you after a show.
LukerFunk: which is wrestling or "thunder"
Jenny: Wrestling....During the mid-80s.
LukerFunk: what mood.. (I got to know these things)
Jenny: It's backstage after the show. I have snuck into the lockeroom. No one else is around. You have just taken a hot shower and are dripping wet. I am wearing a Hulk Hogan t-shirt and tiny shorts.
LukerFunk: towel on or off?
Jenny: Towel on.
LukerFunk: anything esle I should know?
Jenny: Nope, that's it.
LukerFunk: give me a moment to get into character
LukerFunk: k
Jenny: Hi, Mr. Hogan! *I walk nervously into the room, carrying a Hulk Hogan Wrestling Buddy Doll* I'm a big fan of yours, and I was wondering if I could get an autograph?
LukerFunk: *looks behind you* How did you get in here?
Jenny: I snuck past security and got the other wrestlers to clear out by offering them anabolic steroids.
LukerFunk: you know, you shouldn't be back here.. you can get in to some serious trouble.
Jenny: I know....I just couldn't help myself. I was watching the show with my daddy, and I thought you were so hot in that ring. Wearing those tight little shorts and getting hot and sweaty while groping those other men. I had to come see you.
LukerFunk: well I'm sure your father is worring about you. So, I give you an autograph, but then you should get out of here, before someone finds you. *looks at you* Do you have a picture you want me to sign?
Jenny: No...I have my wrestling buddy doll of you. I sleep with him at night....I hold his firm cotton body to my firm young body and pretend it's really you. Sometimes my friend Tina comes over, and we play three-way doctor with it. I would love it if you would sign him.
Jenny: I'm just disappointed they did not make the dolls anatomically correct.
s_5.gif

LukerFunk: I'm flattered you think so highly of me. *reaches in to locker and pulls out a marker* okay, well, come here and sit nicely and I'll sign it
Jenny: *appraoches you and hands you the wrestling buddy doll* Can you make it out to Jenny?
LukerFunk: Sure thing. *pulls off the cap of the marker and begins to sign while talking out loud* To Jenny, my biggest fan who risked everything to see me. sincerely, Hulk Hogan.
LukerFunk: *hands the doll to you*
Jenny: Could you do me one extra big favor?
LukerFunk: what is it
Jenny: Could you sign the doll with your cum too? Maybe if I sucked your dick, you could spray your cum on the doll and produce your million dollar's worth John Hancock.
LukerFunk: I don't know. I mean you are a tad young
Jenny: Please, Mr. Hogan! It's my birthday today! I prayed to God and Jesus that I could give you a blowjob. I prayed everynight!
LukerFunk: *thinking to self* "well I haven't had a young woman in a long time" *shifts mouth a bit, and looks at you* You promise to get out of here then?
Jenny: *nod* I won't tell a soul...I promise. I'll hide my cum stained wrestling buddy doll and treasure him forever. Or maybe sell it on Ebay if I get hard up for cash.
LukerFunk: well, hhmm *debating in it in my mind*
LukerFunk: if you promise? but this would be our only time.
Jenny: *nod* Give me that cock and I'll show it some Roman-Grecko type moves.
s_9.gif

LukerFunk: then you have to come and get it.
Jenny: *I bend down and rip off your towel, revealing your cock.* Wow! Macho Man Randy Savage has nothing on you! *I bend down and start giving you some hot head with my warm and moist mouth*
LukerFunk: show me all you got
Jenny: *I take your celebrity dick into my mouth and run my tongue along the shaft and slowly tease the tip*
LukerFunk: *places hand on your head and gently grabs hair* yeah
Jenny: *Suddenly, my redneck dad Cletus bursts into the room* Tarnation! What the fuck be goin' on in har? John-Boy, why is you sucking Hulk Hogan's dick? I told you to quit them faggoty ways!
LukerFunk: *pulls back
LukerFunk: Wait the? you
LukerFunk: security!!!
Jenny: I quickly pull out your dick from my mouth, and then whip my cock out.....I begin to slap it wildy against your receding hair line.
Jenny: Dammit, daddy? Why you gotta always be spoilin my fun! *I flash my gap-toothed smile* This happened when we went to see that Sigmund and Roy too.
LukerFunk: *wraps back up in a towel, security comes in and pulls the two of you out*
Jenny: *Daddy pulls out his shotgun and aims it at you* Damn you, Hulk Hogan! Why you gotta be violating my only child!
Jenny: *He pulls the trigger and a boom resounds throughout the rooms. He blasts your dick off and your crotch is bleeding like a fountain.*

Previous message was not received by LukerFunk because of error: User LukerFunk is not available.
 

Gay Faggot.

When the frying pan hits just right.
Forum Clout
77,677
This could have been a very funny Cumia joke. You’ll need to go back and do some open mics. Really work out your material. That way you’re not posting like some shit head civilian.
 
Top