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Ant is too fucking dumb to make himself happy

CuckQueen

On the Joe Cumia retirement plan.
Forum Clout
3,395
Take the house deal, he's moving to Carolina. My guess is because it's just far enough away to be in the "country" while staying near to his "pals" in NYC. Ant should by one of the abandoned missile silos, a few hundred thousand and he can really play compound, but he won't.
 

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
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266,036
He is moving there because of the state gun laws and that its a red state. He wants to understandably be able to carry a pistol everywhere he goes. Its his only source of confidence. The cheaper cost of living. He wants to be able to tell racist jokes without getting beat up in the street. He probably thinks there is less black people there. Too bad for him that SC is 27% black and NY is 19%. So he wont be in the clear of that obstacle.
 
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guest

Guest
The only happy Anthony Cumia is the one living with Treefort Richard in another dimension. In that alternate universe, they live in San Francisco, Anthony is a puppeteer on Sesame Street and Richard (an interior decorator) didn't die of AIDS because he cut back on the non-stop anonymous sex that he enthusiastically had to compensate for the hurt of losing his true love, Anthony. And Joe, constantly following his younger brother's lead, also embraced his homosexuality in this timeline. No more impotent Facebook political rants and U2 cover bands for the Bovine there. It's all leather queen bars and Village People tributes for Moomia.
 
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Snake

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48,432
He had a 2-3 million dollar contract for about a decade, and everyone and anyone that wanted anything to do with him was only because of his money, including his whole family. Imagine the core of your family is a Anthony Cumia.

Joe already let it slip that he resents him and only kisses his ass since he's on the payroll.

This bullshit that "I'm still friends with everyone!" When again, it's a business relationship. Does he actually go to the bar every night with Geno or Erock? Does he call them in the middle of the night to talk about philiosophy or a recent little boy he fucked? The only time he sees Worm is when he makes appearances on his "media destination."
 
G

guest

Guest
He is moving there because of the state gun laws and that its a red state. He wants to understandably be able to carry a pistol everywhere he goes. Its his only source of confidence. The cheaper cost of living. He wants to be able to tell racist jokes without getting beat up in the street. He probably thinks there is less black people there. Too bad for him that SC is 27% black and NY is 19%. So he wont be in the clear of that obstacle.
And because real estate is about 1/20th the price of NY, which he can’t afford anymore
 

UnPRePared

For the last time, I am NOT Frank Grimes!
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50,042
Anthony fucked a mentally ill boy for money and bought her tits that probably feel like cement bags.

He's most likely molested many underage girls (in Minecraft).

He spit on casino floors like the gutter trash he is.

He punched a pillow - that he paid to have custom made - of his Co-host whenever he lost at gambling.

He would shit on anyone for any reason, but do it to him and he runs to Reddit mods like a crying sissy girl on the playground.

He doesn't deserve to be happy.
 
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2,842
When he moves to the Carolinas, I hope he ends up getting accidentally shot by some white, hillbilly bumpkin. Now THAT would be still hilarious.

agfnxaje27801.jpg
 

Cptbaldopie

Forum Clout
7,520
The only happy Anthony Cumia is the one living with Treefort Richard in another dimension. In that alternate universe, they live in San Francisco, Anthony is a puppeteer on Sesame Street and Richard (an interior decorator) didn't die of AIDS because he cut back on the non-stop anonymous sex that he enthusiastically had to compensate for the hurt of losing his true love, Anthony. And Joe, constantly following his younger brother's lead, also embraced his homosexuality in this timeline. No more impotent Facebook political rants and U2 cover bands for the Bovine there. It's all leather queen bars and Village People tributes for Moomia.
He would be rob Halford in a judas preisc cover band
 

2-4-6-h8

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583
He is moving there because of the state gun laws and that its a red state. He wants to understandably be able to carry a pistol everywhere he goes. Its his only source of confidence. The cheaper cost of living. He wants to be able to tell racist jokes without getting beat up in the street. He probably thinks there is less black people there. Too bad for him that SC is 27% black and NY is 19%. So he wont be in the clear of that obstacle.
He'll be among his tribe down there.
 

Phish

I told them to back off bcuz it wasnt their show
Forum Clout
40,039
Honestly in my backwoods country bumpkin town, in VA, most of the blacks aren’t rly a problem. They’re not like the niggers that live in Richmond. They’re the ones who sit at the store and drink their coffee and talk to all the guys going to work in the morning while reading the paper, or talk to the police officers that are standing around the gas station with their dicks in their hands. Some of the younger ones in their teens/20s are a bit unsavory and act like they’re from Richmond, but for the most part the bleks are ok here. Idk what it is about cities that just turns them into feral fucking animals.
 
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