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Has anyone here ever hired a personal trainer?

Mustard

Mustard

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CuntFucker said:
The hilarious fantasies of marrying your personal trainer waifu aside, why would anyone help when you have a "I can't be bothered, someone make me swole" attitude? Your PT isn't going to give you the motivation to lift heavy several times a week or eat & sleep properly. You either want it or you don't. You don't sound like you're serious about anything other than daydreaming about sniffing yoga pants.
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I would do the work it's just getting started on my own is a bitch, I'd prefer someone who already has all the know-how to tell me what to do constantly step by step like I'm a toddler. but learning all of that shit to me is like the equivalent of "Hey I want a website so I'll start learning programming". Fuck that shit, I'll just pay a web developer and tell them what I'm want.
 
Mustard

Mustard

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Turry Fawks said:
Go work in masonry for a year.
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Is that what you do? Ive seen your body and you're not swole af

656af1418dbd616249fefdbb37f1f25b.jpeg
 
johnnynoname

johnnynoname

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expect 60 bucks an hour, and him wanting you to change your diet

EDIT: maybe he'll cut you a break if you buy a bunch of sessions at once
 
Gimli Son Of Gloin

Gimli Son Of Gloin

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Mustard's affectation said:
I would do the work it's just getting started on my own is a bitch, I'd prefer someone who already has all the know-how to tell me what to do constantly step by step like I'm a toddler. but learning all of that shit to me is like the equivalent of "Hey I want a website so I'll start learning programming". Fuck that shit, I'll just pay a web developer and tell them what I'm want.
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Stand in front of the weights, and then lift them
 
IanCurtis

IanCurtis

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In my experience most female trainers are obvious dykes, the one I had that was hot was married to the a literally limp-wristed closet homsexual (it made sense - she was the guy and he was the girl).

Around $40 for a base trainer is maybe right but I've spent between $40-90. You get what you pay for, I've usually bought a block of sessions with a gym trainer for $200 (six sessions). Nutrition/sleep as others have noted will determine your gains - no more eating shit, get ready to eat plenty of meat.

Trainers are only useful to me these days to spot check workouts - are you working in a gym or at home? Very quickly you'll realise its cheaper to buy simple fitness equipment and use it at home rather than be covered in other mens bodily fluids in a gym.

I suggest asking a trainer to evaluate your mobility/flexibility and strength because these are the things you want to improve (and techniques you learn will help prevent injury down the line) with your ultimate goal to do strength training (where you'll build muscle) - that's if you're serious, want long term gains and are disciplined, otherwise just say you want to be 'swole' and they'll know you're a dickhead who can be easily taken for all the money in the world and will believe any bullshit they push on you about supplements etc.

Side effects of 'swole' include: attraction to shemales (this is non-negotiable, you will find men in drag sexy), enlarged heart, poor circulation, retardation, emotional instability (you will become like a woman with a never ending menstrual cycle), hyper sensitivity to comments about your appearance (also like a woman), dick might not work (I knew a bodybuilder who used so much steroids his testicles dissolved to nothing and he was incapable of getting an erection - even with a tranny!), sleep apnea, did I mention retardation...
 
Voscabulary

Voscabulary

1+2+3+4+5=em2c
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IanCurtis said:
In my experience most female trainers are obvious dykes, the one I had that was hot was married to the a literally limp-wristed closet homsexual (it made sense - she was the guy and he was the girl).

Around $40 for a base trainer is maybe right but I've spent between $40-90. You get what you pay for, I've usually bought a block of sessions with a gym trainer for $200 (six sessions). Nutrition/sleep as others have noted will determine your gains - no more eating shit, get ready to eat plenty of meat.

Trainers are only useful to me these days to spot check workouts - are you working in a gym or at home? Very quickly you'll realise its cheaper to buy simple fitness equipment and use it at home rather than be covered in other mens bodily fluids in a gym.

I suggest asking a trainer to evaluate your mobility/flexibility and strength because these are the things you want to improve (and techniques you learn will help prevent injury down the line) with your ultimate goal to do strength training (where you'll build muscle) - that's if you're serious, want long term gains and are disciplined, otherwise just say you want to be 'swole' and they'll know you're a dickhead who can be easily taken for all the money in the world and will believe any bullshit they push on you about supplements etc.

Side effects of 'swole' include: attraction to shemales (this is non-negotiable, you will find men in drag sexy), enlarged heart, poor circulation, retardation, emotional instability (you will become like a woman with a never ending menstrual cycle), hyper sensitivity to comments about your appearance (also like a woman), dick might not work (I knew a bodybuilder who used so much steroids his testicles dissolved to nothing and he was incapable of getting an erection - even with a tranny!), sleep apnea, did I mention retardation...
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do you listen to unknown pleasures when you're getting shredded
 
IanCurtis

IanCurtis

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Voscabulary said:
do you listen to unknown pleasures when you're getting shredded
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lol, I watch TV rather than listen to music, dopey light comedy films etc and TV comedy shows seem to work best - anything requiring limited attention but preferably with some boobs or at least ok looking gals, keeps my mind occupied.
 
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