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Thank god.
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Have you ever disowned or been disowned by a relative?
- Thread starter BonnieMcFarlaneMe2
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My father had some kind of personality disorder, probably from childhood trauma. He had a terrible temper, and it would turn abusive, but he wasn't a bad guy. He was actual a very talented landscaper and gardener and created a beautiful garden for us to play in - he just couldn't keep up with the work. His dreams always outstripped his abilities. He had good ideas, but his business ventures would fail because his temper would ruin all his working relationships. He was always hoping that the kids would take over, but I was always on the receiving end of his abuse and my mother would take his side all the time. I hated the thought of working for him.
So I grew up not liking either of them. From the age of 12 I ate my dinner in my room and made my own breakfast and school lunch. I barely spoke to either of them throughout my teens. They treated me like an employee when I didn't have schoolwork, so I threw myself into schoolwork and after school activities so I'd have an excuse to avoid them.
When I was 18 I moved out and never lived there again. My father died, but I felt nothing. I never liked him, or loved him, but I felt sorry for him. He was close with his own mother so he was probably emotionally very sensitive, but had to put up a ton of walls in his life to survive. He was probably very lonely because the town thought he was a crank, his kids were scared of him, and his wife was judgemental and negative. He had a long slow painful decline in health, so his death would have been a release for him. A release from a lifetime of inner pain that he could never share with anyone.
My mother probably felt some guilt over our bad childhood, so she tried to make up for lost time. She would pester me to visit or phone, but when I did she remained cold and judgemental. She had no motherly instincts and lacked the ability to validate people's feelings. It seemed like she just wanted to talk so she had an opportunity to complain or put someone down. Repairing past mistakes was impossible because she just continued to be a cunt. She would invariably say something that showed she was completely narcissistic and I would hang up and not call again for another month. I never loved her or liked her but I kept up contact for years out of obligation and duty.
Covid became the perfect opportunity. Finally an excuse not to visit. The political controversy became an excuse to create some more distance. I became a "vaccine skeptic", though not really. I stopped calling, I stopped visiting, and I just let it all fade away. She still sends me birthday cards, but I don't open them.
So I grew up not liking either of them. From the age of 12 I ate my dinner in my room and made my own breakfast and school lunch. I barely spoke to either of them throughout my teens. They treated me like an employee when I didn't have schoolwork, so I threw myself into schoolwork and after school activities so I'd have an excuse to avoid them.
When I was 18 I moved out and never lived there again. My father died, but I felt nothing. I never liked him, or loved him, but I felt sorry for him. He was close with his own mother so he was probably emotionally very sensitive, but had to put up a ton of walls in his life to survive. He was probably very lonely because the town thought he was a crank, his kids were scared of him, and his wife was judgemental and negative. He had a long slow painful decline in health, so his death would have been a release for him. A release from a lifetime of inner pain that he could never share with anyone.
My mother probably felt some guilt over our bad childhood, so she tried to make up for lost time. She would pester me to visit or phone, but when I did she remained cold and judgemental. She had no motherly instincts and lacked the ability to validate people's feelings. It seemed like she just wanted to talk so she had an opportunity to complain or put someone down. Repairing past mistakes was impossible because she just continued to be a cunt. She would invariably say something that showed she was completely narcissistic and I would hang up and not call again for another month. I never loved her or liked her but I kept up contact for years out of obligation and duty.
Covid became the perfect opportunity. Finally an excuse not to visit. The political controversy became an excuse to create some more distance. I became a "vaccine skeptic", though not really. I stopped calling, I stopped visiting, and I just let it all fade away. She still sends me birthday cards, but I don't open them.
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Never been disowned or disowned anybody although I have created a lot of space between myself and certain people.
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i wish my dad was alive, and had an account here so he can post in this thread
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I've joked about it with my brother Steve.
We don't talk about that OTHER sibling, though. Shame about that accident with the Highland Cow...
We don't talk about that OTHER sibling, though. Shame about that accident with the Highland Cow...
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PW3NDI imagine his avatar being your kissy shirtless selfie in the mirror.
