"No, no, NO!" hissed Andy at the African-American worker. "I want more varnish on those banisters! There's no SPARKLE!" he cattily fumed.
"Yes'um Mr. Andy, yes'um, sir. But thing is, that wood thar ain't but gonna get no shinier, sir. That thar's Carolina pine, if you wants shine you done best go wit Carolina spruce, cuz that Carolina spruces sure shines up nice, Mr. Andy!"
"Fucking n******. Yes Remus, whatever, pine, spruce, I HAAAAAAATE this stuff and usually have people handling for me. But I want this house to SCREAM "Andy Espresso", do you understand? Because I am Andy Espresso!". Mincing with hands on hips, Andy lisped "Just make the FUCKING banister shine, OK Remus? For fuck's sake, they aren't even people! No wonder construction is taking so long!"
Andy sashayed his way into his new toy room, and eyed his new custom karaoke stage. "Wait til Gavin sees this, tee hee!". Andy pranced his way to the stage like Nureyev, and twirled with delight. "I'm truly at home here", he pondered, as he began to vamp and flounce, making delicate fruity hand gestures with his free hand, while daintily clutching his beer with the other. "I should get cigars for Gavin. I can't WAIT til he gets here! We're gonna have so much fun!". Suddenly Andy's state of reverie was interrupted by one of the workers.
"Mr. Andy sir, you didn't stand on that thar karaoke stage, did ya? Cause we just done varnished that stage down round but a half hour ago!"
Andy gasped in horror. "The stage! It's ruined! It's ruined! It'll have no glide now! AND MY ORTHOPEDIC SNEAKERS! COCK! DIDN'T YOU EVER HEAR OF WET PAINT SIGNS!". "I hate these fucking n****** so much, ugh why did I move down to N*****ville in the first place? What was I thinking? What if Gavin never comes? What if Gavin NEVER COMES?".