DMCA, complaints, and other inquiries:
lol I had four jobs and that played a big part in me winding up in the hospital
Oopsie doodles!
note: DONT DO THIS IT MIGHT KILL YOU
Godspeed, brotherman. I hope it works out for you. Maybe we could get Ant to do a cameo for you as Tony Danza since you’re both a little under the weather.It’s not looking good. 8cm mass on the liver and some smaller ones too. Possible colon mass too, get to do a colonoscopy Thursday, yay.
Don’t be like me and ignore shit and don’t listen to the shitheads here saying all doctors are liars and all that. Get your physicals, make them test everything.
Whelp you doing a good job at scaring the shit outta me. I am already in the process of cutting down/quitting my previously non stop drinking.In hindsight there's a bunch of crap that would have gone a long way towards making things less shitty:
1) Statistically, you're way more likely to succeed at "cutting back" than going cold turkey. The failure rate of going cold turkey is something like 99%. A huge part of the reason my intake levels were off the charts is that you build up a tolerance. When I was 22, two pints were enough to get the room spinning, if I drank too fast. By the time I was 40, I could drink from sunup to sundown and if I paced myself, I was 100% functional. Like, I barely even noticed that I was drinking. If you start drinking at 7am and stop at midnight, you can knock back 34 drinks without ever having more than two per hour. That's 1.7 liters of vodka. For instance, one afternoon I was at a work event at noon on a Thursday, and one of my coworkers was going on and on about what a drunk our coworker was, and that "he was drunk at noon" and that he was just embarassing himself. My coworker was completely unaware that I'd started drinking at 8am and I already had six shots under my belt and it wasn't even lunchtime.
2) As alluded to in my Lou Reed / David Bowie comment, there's some things that will fuck up your liver in a hurry. One dicey prostitute or one week of mixing painkillers and booze can shave a ton of time off your liver.
3) If you look at the mortality stats, the thing that kills alcoholics is often heart disease and GI issues. In my case it was GI issues. Basically I had internal bleeding. The thing that's so embarassing about this, is that I could have avoided the bleeding with plain ol' prilosec. I'd read some studies that people on Prilosec are prone to cancer, so I'd avoided it my entire life. Now I take it every day. But I had 25 YEARS of evidence that I had GI issues, and I just chalked them up to "this will blow over." Like, even in my 20s, I had heartburn constantly. By the time I was in my 30s, I had to go to Urgent Care every few years because I'd get heartburn so bad, I would be unable to move off the couch. WHEN YOU HAVE HEARTBURN SO BAD YOU CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE GI ISSUES. A lot of people who die near-instantly from boozing, are people who have something burst in their GI tract. They just bleed out like a stuck pig and even if they get to the hospital and in front of a surgeon in 20 minutes (very unlikely) they STILL might not make it. That's who I wound up with the whopper of a medical bill, I took a dump that indicated internal bleeding and got to the hospital before anything exploded. (If your shit looks like coffee grounds, go to the hospital NOW.)
4) Get to know what killed your relatives. In my case, I had a relative die of this, so I have a genetic predisposition to GI issues. I know someone who's adopted, that died suddenly. Chances are good that they could have avoided death if they'd dug up their family's medical history.
5) I know that it's scary as fuck to get bloodwork done when you're a raging alcoholic, but you should really do that. In my case, my liver was astonishingly resilient to booze, but it showed stuff that I didn't even know was wrong with me. That can save your life. You're going to feel pretty dumb if you kick booze entirely, thinking that's the only thing that's wrong with you, and then it turns out there's something booze related that's a bigger problem. In my case, GI issues were a bigger problem than my liver (but my GI issues were caused by a failing liver.)
Yeah it's no fun. One time I was on a road trip with my GF and I had to pull over to throw up. Wasn't even drunk; was just in a ton of pain.Whelp you doing a good job at scaring the shit outta me. I am already in the process of cutting down/quitting my previously non stop drinking.
I can 100% attest to the GI issues. I have up and down terrible gallbladder pain. Took me a while of doctor googling and noticing the timing and triggers of symptoms to realize no it's not my liver hurting (although my liver is definitely fatty and enlarged as well as likely damaged) it is my gallbladder that probably has gall stones in it and is in maximum retard overdrive trying to counter act the 10 pints or the 20 shots of gin over the up and down span of 4 years. My liver has expanded to the point where if I push on my rib cage on the lower right side I can make it click in a gross way, like cracking your knuckles. Doesn't really hurt or anything, but I can assure you my left side cannot do that.
Thankfully the GF has a prescription for a PPI which I just took over and take daily currently. If I weren't taking that I have heartburn that feels near heart attack levels. Clearly an indicator to my GI acidity... I'm starting a new job soon with a heavy schedule so I just need to keep myself busy and remind myself of the times where I was laying on the bathroom floor so bloated and in so much throbbing pain. I also have to power through quitting coffee and caffeine. A single large coffee, I can start feeling a slight dull ache. A second large coffee? It's like my gallbladder is a testicle and the iron sheikh is crushing it for like 1.5 hours.
Time really does fly. And if you are heavy drinking, daily, it really only takes 3-5 years to start feeling like dogshit and then 6-10 years to flat out die.
Don't drink bros. It's not pfg. And if you do drink, at least get it a lot more under control.
It's brutal. Attempting to throw up nothing, eating a pittance of a meal any normal person could eat and throwing it up, etc. I'm amazed you even survived that long with zero PPIs I would've probably blown my brains out.Yeah it's no fun. One time I was on a road trip with my GF and I had to pull over to throw up. Wasn't even drunk; was just in a ton of pain.
Nothing came up and just sat there next to the side of the road for about 5-10 minutes trying to power through the GI pain. Not PFG.
It sounds like cancer. So nothing to do with boozing really you just got fucked by nature's lottery. But, that surely potentially can get operated on and fixed. Grandma had colon cancer with a mass in middle age, got it dealt with and lived to 93.It’s not looking good. 8cm mass on the liver and some smaller ones too. Possible colon mass too, get to do a colonoscopy Thursday, yay.
Don’t be like me and ignore shit and don’t listen to the shitheads here saying all doctors are liars and all that. Get your physicals, make them test everything.
Don't think so. I had it and Mother hardly touched the stuffIs that from the mom boozing during pregnancy?
Enjoy Dialysis, stlakerPatrick wins again
Jesus, I'm sorry to hear that.It’s not looking good. 8cm mass on the liver and some smaller ones too. Possible colon mass too, get to do a colonoscopy Thursday, yay.
Don’t be like me and ignore shit and don’t listen to the shitheads here saying all doctors are liars and all that. Get your physicals, make them test everything.
That was just a joke *sniff*Don't think so. I had it and Mother hardly touched the stuff
I'm not autisticThat was just a joke *sniff*
Oh and my wife got the call that her dad dropped dead literally 15 minutes before I got those scan results.
Not good.
Speak for yourself haha.I'm not autistic
That’s fawkin brutal. ME:Maybe the casket store will have a 2-for-1 sale on Black Friday. Thought and prayers.
This forum is dedicated exclusively to parody, comedy, and satirical content. None of the statements, opinions, or depictions shared on this platform should be considered or treated as factual information under any circumstances. All content is intended for entertainment purposes only and should be regarded as fictional, exaggerated, or purely the result of personal opinions and creative expression.
Please be aware that this forum may feature discussions and content related to taboo, controversial, or potentially offensive subjects. The purpose of this content is not to incite harm but to engage in satire and explore the boundaries of humor. If you are sensitive to such subjects or are easily offended, we kindly advise that you leave the forum.
Any similarities to real people, events, or situations are either coincidental or based on real-life inspirations but used within the context of fair use satire. By accepting this disclaimer, you acknowledge and understand that the content found within this forum is strictly meant for parody, satire, and entertainment. You agree not to hold the forum, its administrators, moderators, or users responsible for any content that may be perceived as offensive or inappropriate. You enter and participate in this forum at your own risk, with full awareness that everything on this platform is purely comedic, satirical, or opinion-based, and should never be taken as factual information.
If any information or discussion on this platform triggers distressing emotions or thoughts, please leave immediately and consider seeking assistance.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) Website: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/