I’m drinking with colleagues and just turned down sex. (Yes, really)

[NoBacon]

I got talking to some pink haired teacher who asked if it was “safe” to talk to me because she couldn’t find her friends.

I said “safe enough” and we had a flirtatious back and forth, where she told me about her polyamorous relationship, and showed me photos of her girlfriend. She said she would be my worse nightmare and I said my mom warned me about girls like her. All sexually charged shit, the more I mocked her the more into it she got.

Anyway, she was reasonably hot and asked if she could spend the night at mine and “corrupt me” - I was flirting and playing it all up.

I wised up and just went home and made the sign of the cross to her.

I realise everybody will think this is fan fiction and bullshit, but it’s not. It literally just happened.

I’m wise enough to avoid these things now, and she was so drunk she asked what my name was about 10 times, and it’s a very common white guy name. Definitely dodged a crazy bullet. I’m also quite sick atm and don’t think I could have performed anyway, I feel completely dead after 5 drinks.

 

[iBangedQuasi]

And you came here to tell us? Man you are one sad sack of shit

 

[Easily_Remembered]

The Devil tried to tempt you my man. You passed.

 

[goo gobbler]

basedbacon giving holes the hand

 

[NoBacon]

And you came here to tell us? Man you are one sad sack of shit

I’m addicted to diary posting.

It was pretty cool, though. I enjoyed the flirting more than I would fucking some retard freak

 

[Brooke Shields]

You were supposed to save her.....

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

I realise everybody will think this is fan fiction and bullshit, but it’s not

nah, I believe she left you to go home alone (as you should've)

Anyway, cool story, bro'

I doubt Sue Lightning will be impressed by this lie... you should've taken the chance & fucked him last year: 'oOoH, we're just like each other but different'... yeh, both stupidly verbose lying idiots. I hope there's some ironically adjacent fires which you both die in, maybe on the way to verbosely chat about dorky stuff, but God threw a D20 & you both caught fire. LOL

 

[Phish]

This is just as queer as the “my babys are gone” post. KYS NoBac. Seriously. Whata faggot ass post.

 

[goo gobbler]

This is just as queer as the “my babys are gone” post. KYS NoBac. Seriously. Whata faggot ass post.

NBDF will be praying for you. have a good one

 

[Niggerotchi]

Shoulda fucked her, sillygoose stupid.

 

[Total Tranny Death]

Why exactly didn't you do it? Just because she has pink hair and you think she's a psycho?

 

[Niggerotchi]

Why exactly didn't you do it? Just because she has pink hair and you think she's a psycho?

I didn't date this one artsy lady 15 years ago when she was clearly into me, so I instead conjured a bunch of half-baked reasons on why I'll win by being a pussy coward...15 years later and I've now been with her for 5 years.

 

[NoBacon]

Why exactly didn't you do it? Just because she has pink hair and you think she's a psycho?

She was nuts and I disdain that lifestyle, I’m not a hypocrite.

 

[Turry Fawks]

What was his name

 

[NoBacon]

What was his name

Her name was Amy. Nice try with the hate though have a good one.

 

[Turry Fawks]

Her name was Amy. Nice try with the hate though have a good one.

So it was Emilio

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

Why exactly didn't you do it? Just because she has pink hair and you think she's a psycho?

nah, because he made it up... but anyway...

 

[NoBacon]

So it was Emilio

I’m not gay. You are. You know you are. Enjoy being gay.

 

[NoBacon]

nah, because he made it up... but anyway...

Sir, I did not.

 

[Turry Fawks]

I’m not gay. You are. You know you are. Enjoy being gay.

And when you said you turned it down you meant you got pozzed