What are your Mother’s Day plans?

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Called my mom and my stepmom, and took my wife out for lunch. That bitch spent $30 on a candle the other day. We can afford it but that shit blows my mind. $30 on a candle. Maybe it's a lesson about the temporary nature of possessions, like how the candle will eventually be burned out or how $30 can be carelessly spent on a candle from a faggoty boutique.

Edit: it is not a large candle, either

 

[Boq the Lonely Faggot]

Boq oddly silent.

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Called my mom and my stepmom, and took my wife out for lunch. That bitch spent $30 on a candle the other day. We can afford it but that shit blows my mind. $30 on a candle. Maybe it's a lesson about the temporary nature of possessions, like how the candle will eventually be burned out or how $30 can be carelessly spent on a candle from a faggoty boutique.

Edit: it is not a large candle, either

Candles are a useless woman purchase.
Every trip to the grocery store with mom would rack up to like five hours and not zero amount was spent looking at useless and boring shit like candles.
Mom used to think candles were a worthile purchase to light up the house during a power outage. Then the last time she got them out the cat knocked one over. It didn't cause a house fire but there was broken glass everywhere.
I haven't lived with a female in a while so I forgot candles were a thing until I recently went to the grocery store with my sister and saw her buy one. I was disgusted.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

I haven't lived with a female in a while

Are you a zoomer or a weirdo millennial? I can't tell. Your weirdness is fascinating to me

 

[Jack_Horner]

Intarection with females is built around being forced to show emotions I don't have about subjects that don't interest me.

This is why I always throw in a "can I see your boobs" occasionally

Keeps things lively

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Are you a zoomer or a weirdo millennial? I can't tell. Your weirdness is fascinating to me

Too old to be a zoomzoom. I thought I was a very late millenial but then i looked at the historical record (Wikipedia) for definitions and i got bogged down in the numbers. I don't know anymore.
(The Wikipedia article on Millennial has a "Millenial culture" section and it's saying some nonsense about the loudness war and "lossless compression algorithms". I don't know what the fuck is going on over there).

This is why I always throw in a "can I see your boobs" occasionally

Keeps things lively

What if the girl don't have bobs.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Too old to be a zoomzoom. I thought I was a very late millenial but then i looked at the historical record (Wikipedia) for definitions and i got bogged down in the numbers. I don't know anymore.
(The Wikipedia article on Millennial has a "Millenial culture" section and it's saying some nonsense about the loudness war and "lossless compression algorithms". I don't know what the fuck is going on over there).

What if the girl don't have bobs.

Jesus nigger are you older than me? What the fuck

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Jesus nigger are you older than me? What the fuck

I don't think so.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

I don't think so.

Well i am 36, so what the FUCK are you

Also have you ever seen 'martian successor nadesico'

 

[NortheastPhilly]

We went to my sisters lacrosse game and then went out to eat. It was actually quite pleasant

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Planned Mothers Day brunch at a pretty snooty joint here in town. Usually not the kind of place you'd bring kids, but for the brunch kids are allowed. On the drive there, my oldest puked all over the backseat.

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

We went to my sisters lacrosse game and then went out to eat. It was actually quite pleasant

Age

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Well i am 36, so what the FUCK are you

I'm less than a decade younger than 36 although not by much.

Also have you ever seen 'martian successor nadesico'

Spoiler

バカばっか

 

[NortheastPhilly]

Age

19, way out of Ants range

 

[johnnynoname]

-BROUGH.....fuck....brought my mom a present
- went to my fucking job where i drink 3 energy drinks
- winding down, eating a steak, and going to beat my meat to Kennedy because she looks uber good on that fox weekend show with that Jimmy faila guy

 

[whippinghuskies]

-BROUGH.....fuck....brought my mom a present
- went to my fucking job where i drink 3 energy drinks
- winding down, eating a steak, and going to beat my meat to Kennedy because she looks uber good on that fox weekend show with that Jimmy faila guy

I remember when Kennedy was a wacky alt girl on MTV. It's amazing how well she looks now.

 

[johnnynoname]

I remember when Kennedy was a wacky alt girl on MTV. It's amazing how well she looks now.

legit

she so cool (and i'm so above average looking) that I could tell her how many times I've beaten off to her, and she would punch me in the shoulder, and give me "OHHH YOU!!!"

 

[johnnynoname]

FUCK YOU @HH Brother

YOU CAN'T CLOG YOUR BATHROOM PIPES FROM YOUR JIZZ, SCUMBAG

 

[Jack_Horner]

Candles are a useless woman purchase.
Every trip to the grocery store with mom would rack up to like five hours and not zero amount was spent looking at useless and boring shit like candles.
Mom used to think candles were a worthile purchase to light up the house during a power outage. Then the last time she got them out the cat knocked one over. It didn't cause a house fire but there was broken glass everywhere.
I haven't lived with a female in a while so I forgot candles were a thing until I recently went to the grocery store with my sister and saw her buy one. I was disgusted.

When I was 32 I had a girlfriend who'd basically moved into my condo. I never invited her to do that, she basically showed up and just never left.

This really put a crimp in my attempts to fuck everything in sight.

Instead of doing the manly thing and telling her to go back to her own fucking home, I would schedule girls around my girlfriend's schedule.

So she'd leave for work at 7am, and then I'd have this girl come over who worked the night shift. And I'm not trying to be "cute" here, I mean she literally worked the night shift as a janitor.

So she'd show up at my doorstep absolutely reeking of body odor and cleaning fluids, and we'd make some small talk, and then have sex. One morning I'd put on some incense to drown out her awful smelly body. The incense was an oil, and it was starting to burn too hot. So I took a glass of water that I had on the night stand, and poured it on the incense oil, while it was burning.

It instantly EXPLODED into a fireball.

Basically the cold water hit the hot oil in the incense burner, and the combination of the two atomized. It created an explosion of fire that was about four feet in diameter. It also sprayed hot burning oil all over the bed, the nightstand, etc.

It's only by the grace of God that it didn't burn the entire house down.

 

[guest]

What are yours?