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The Abe Vigoda Canadian Thanksgiving Spectacular Megathread

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Hey, Santa: I rape trespassers
Forum Clout
123,793
Yesterday I fucked up and ordered 2 half pound burgers. I ate them. I'm still sick. Salad today.
Actually, have you ever considered the life of a competitive eater? You could be the next Joey Chestnut. Could you imagine shitting out like 100 mostly full hotdogs? Could you imagine how cool that would be? Joey Chestnut is drowning in pussy right now.
 

Turk February

Our experiences exceed yours.
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56,084
Actually, have you ever considered the life of a competitive eater? You could be the next Joey Chestnut. Could you imagine shitting out like 100 mostly full hotdogs? Could you imagine how cool that would be? Joey Chestnut is drowning in pussy right now.
I eat super fast and it makes dates at restaurants intolerable cuz I have to sit for 20 minutes watching someone finish their fries. I think it's because as a kid I was allowed to play on the computer as soon as I finished dinner so it became a lifelong habit.
 

Dummy Gaynuts

Pookie-pie water-pig
Forum Clout
80,191
Lol you ate a pound of hamburger. You should get your picture put on the wall of wherever you ordered them from.
Turk Candy

d50v9txknqj21.jpg
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Hey, Santa: I rape trespassers
Forum Clout
123,793
I choked on a Dorito once. I was trying to run outside so hopefully one of the many crackheads I had previously screamed at or punched in the head would take pity and save my life and I jumped down the last flight of stairs and when I landed it knocked the chip loose.
 

Turk February

Our experiences exceed yours.
Forum Clout
56,084
I choked on a Dorito once. I was trying to run outside so hopefully one of the many crackheads I had previously screamed at or punched in the head would take pity and save my life and I jumped down the last flight of stairs and when I landed it knocked the chip loose.
On two occasions a boiled piece of meat got stuck in my throat and I couldn't swallow water or saliva. Actually couldn't swallow anything and had to have a spit bottle. Both times I was put under full body anaesthesia, completely knocked out and had meat surgically removed from my neck.
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Hey, Santa: I rape trespassers
Forum Clout
123,793
There's some constant fucking high pitched whine coming from somewhere around my place and it's driving me fucking insane. Since I noticed it I can't stop hearing it. It's not tinnitus either, there's some fucking loud "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" shit filling the air around here. Fucking aliens.
 
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